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This is our 53rd episode of The Community Conversation and today, Mike Collette continues his Leadership Series with the second episode: Awareness, First! You won’t want to miss this episode as it’s a good one!
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Mike Collette 0:02
What is going on everyone? This is Mike Collette, owner of Prototype Training Systems. And today we are going to be doing so I guess number two of this leadership series that I’ve started to put together for all those listeners that are out there. So in the last episode we talked about putting in the reps, which just refers to putting in the work putting in all that deliberate practice to get better at the things that you want to improve on. Today, actually thinking more about this, I was actually just outside, chopping some wood for a good hour, I got a little chunk out of my leg to prove it from a little ricochet shout out to Dan McCarthy getting me all that wood to chop up has taken me longer than I’ve that I’ve wanted to be to be very honest. But although they’re chopping some wood, I started to think about this next episode. And, you know, I started to think about the fact that we started with the reps, but it really doesn’t start with the reps because it should start with and it does start with this whole idea of this awareness phase. And I want to talk a little bit about that today. So today is all about awareness, self-awareness, on reflecting, inviting other people’s to other people’s other people, to give you their perspective, and being able to be humble enough vulnerable enough to work through those different blind spots and difficulties to improve. So just think of it like this, you go to the gym, and let’s say you just start working out at the gym, you’re not just going to walk into the door, there’s something that happens, there’s some sort of awareness of I need to accomplish x goal, or I don’t feel good about myself, I want to get better, or I need to start working out again, there’s some sort of awareness that is brought up and that awareness is individualized and specific to each person. Same thing from a leadership perspective, if and these are things and I can speak on this, because these are things that I’ve been doing over the last nine plus months. As a leader, you also need to be self aware. So it’s really unfair to try to lead manage whatever you want to refer to it as from the perspective that you don’t really know what others are going through Are you haven’t really done and put in the work and yourself. With that being said, this awareness of yourself where you This is the first stages at the bottom, I guess the foundation from a development perspective, because if you’re really if you’re unaware of where you’re at, how are you going to be in a position to work on anything? How are you going to be in a position to improve? And if you’re so unaware, and you think you are just amazing, this just incredible amount of confidence, which I guess would lean more towards the arrogant side of us don’t think you really have to get anything done or work on anything, you’re perfect. I will 100 out of 100 times tell you that that is absolutely not true. And you need to have people in your life that are willing to give you that candid feedback and help you see what those blind spots are. So again, the first the first stage is being self aware, what are the things that you may do that prevent others from being truthful to you prevent yourself from being honest with other people being honest with yourself, this whole idea of self awareness? What are those bad behaviors that you might have? What are those things you might do, that you really don’t like about yourself, and I’m not saying you know, you leave the toilet seat up after going to the bathroom, shout out to all the guys out there that know exactly what I’m talking about. Shout out to all to all the other folks out there that might be on the receiving end of that, sorry, that is a bad behavior. But that’s not necessarily the bad behaviors I’m talking about maybe those behaviors that prevent others from being honest with you. So you know, being passive aggressive as an example, or not being open to criticism or being very self self defensive, always thinking you’re right, these are things that I’ve had to come to come to terms with that I do myself fairly often to be honest. And so it’s the self awareness that is the foundation of essentially everything. But once we kind of work through that self awareness phase, we need to reflect and think on why we do those things. Why do we do those bad, but we call them bad behaviors, refer to them as read our behaviors. Some of the stuff that we’ve taken from next jump that’s what they refer to them as red or red arrow behaviors. What are these little things that you’re doing? And then what does that reflected in what is that? How do you see that in the in maybe your workplace? How do you see that in like your family life or outside of work. There’s similarities, but and then it’s like, why do you do that? Like why do you do those sorts of things. And typically we do things, the things that we hate most about ourselves. We also tend to really not like about other people. So as an example, I am definitely, definitely guilty of making turns without putting on my blinker at times. And it absolutely drives me nuts. When people do that it drives me absolutely nuts. I don’t know, I then asked Aaron, it drives me nuts, I have this visceral reaction of like, why is that person being such as insert, insert expletive. And the reality is, is I don’t, I don’t really know what that person is going through what they’re doing. At the time, maybe they weren’t paying attention, maybe they are insert expletive and aihole or whatever. But Probably not, but I have this reaction to it. But I don’t think that necessarily about myself. And maybe I just do it because I just missed the turn or the or the the ways or the, the GPS, just a little delay. And I just had to make a turn or that without really planning it out. But anyway, but anyway, so there’s this reflection phase of thinking on why you do those sorts of things. And this exercise is incredibly important, especially if you’re looking to grow. The next component of this is bringing in other people to help you with that reflection, and sharing that with people. And this has been a term that’s been used a lot lately, especially coming off of 2020 into 2021. In Ghana going forward with, you know, a lot of mental health struggles, but it’s this, it’s this idea of being vulnerable, being putting yourself out there putting out your truth, not just putting up all the all the pretty things you see on social media, that people might have this different interpretation of you that your life is just awesome all the time, it’s putting some of the bad stuff out there some of the things that you’re afraid of, and everyone has their own individual stories around that. But basically bringing other people in to help you see your blind spots, those are the things that you’re not self aware of. So we can take the time and spend hours on hours doing it and probably see some of the papers if you’re watching the video now a bunch of papers behind me take the time rate some of those things out, what are the things that you don’t really like about yourself? I’m not saying like, you know, from a physical perspective, I’m saying like, what are the some of the things you kind of do, the behaviors you kind of do reflecting on that. But then the next step after you reflect on that is, is bringing in other people and happy and asking for their feedback. And I’m not just talking about any old stranger off the, off the street, right? Because they don’t know you, it’s the people that you’re closest with and that know you the best, but it’s also the people that are going to be the most honest with you. So some folks that are in your peer group, maybe at work, maybe at the gym, that you’re really good friends with and are very honest with you that they’re going to give you all that candid feedback. Maybe it’s a family member or spouse, sitting, you know, significant other parent, etc. but bringing other people in and asking them, hey, what are these? What are all the things that you really like about me? What are the things that you that you kind of like seeing me or behaviors that I do that that might irritate you, or, or whatever, and you start to get their perspective on it. And then you share with them the things you’ve self identified with. And this is this idea of vulnerability and sharing what you’ve reflected on as well. And the idea here is to get feedback, get an understanding of the people that this things are your self reflecting on, are they are they true? Are they things you’re just thinking that you do? Do other people actually notice them? Do they agree with you? They’re like, yeah, I see you do that? Or are they prying you more, but can I see you do that. But you also do this other thing that I’ve noticed as well. And again, this is this idea of uncovering these blind spots. So think of it back to exercise and why we you know why we coach at prototype. It’s not just a clappia along and cheer for you, as you get through this, this workout and kind of like have this shared suffering this grueling workout with each other, but as to help you improve, and if we all knew how to do everything perfectly, I guess we wouldn’t really need a coach, right? Unless we need someone to kind of help us in a deeper sense. But at the end of the day, we’re focusing on helping you improve in those areas that you are not necessarily aware aware of. And you might not be aware of it because you’ve done it never done it before. Right? Or you might not be aware of it because it’s might be a bad habit that you’ve picked up along the years. Maybe you came to prototype from some other gym or you’re working on your own. You never knew that’s how you’re supposed to do a squat before, right? You don’t know you don’t know. So again, you can relate this whole idea of self development and growing as a leader to the stuff that we do in the gym. And there’s a lot of parallels that I’ve been seeing over these nine plus months of doing all of this stuff. And I will tell you that this is a really really challenging exercise to do is to sit down take the time, no distractions, no put your phone away, like getting a good good sense of mine. Probably first thing in the morning. Again, no distraction, get away, get your computer off, turn it off, don’t do it typing By the way, you know, what I like to do is put up a nice big, like giant, post it or use a whiteboard and just start writing down all those things that you might do those, those ideas that red arrow behaviors are those kind of like bad behaviors that you might that you might have, write them all out, and then reflect on them. You know, why might you do that? And just think on it a bit? Are there things in your past that like have pushed you to that? Have there been mentors that you’ve had that guided you to do things not right? Whatever it is, bring in some people that you trust, get some feedback, be vulnerable. And I will tell you that it’s an amazing experience when you can do this, especially with a group of trusted people that are invested in helping invested in helping you grow, have you want more help with this exercise, I have a lot of experience with it. And when I say a lot, not a lot, but I’ve been doing it myself and I have been helping a lot of other people. Feel free to reach out and email me my email is Mike@prototypetraining.com. I’m here to help. And this is just one part, especially guess at the foundation of this whole journey of growth, self development, and leadership development. So again, I’m Mike Collette, I appreciate you listening to part two of this leadership series. This is all about awareness. And I appreciate you all tuning in today. Thank you.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai