Thank you for checking out The Community Conversation, brought to you by Prototype Training Systems, home of CrossFit Prototype! This episode of The Community Conversation is a NUTRITION EDITION! Typically, The Community Conversation highlights a different member of the Prototype Community each week and allows them to tell their story, share their life experience, and communicate their perspective on all things fitness. For this episode, we have two of our Prototype Nutrition Coaches dropping some Nutrition knowledge bombs!
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For this nutrition edition of the Community Conversation, Prototype Nutrition Coach Jon Collette and Prototype Nutrition’s Registered Dietitian, Sam Hally will be discussing Boundaries. If you’re looking to learn more about nutrition for yourself or pick up some good eating habit tips, you will want to check this out!
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Jon Collette 0:02
Thank you for tuning in to the Community Conversation brought to you by Prototype Training Systems, home of CrossFit Prototype. Sam and I are back with another nutrition episode to help provide you with some education and strategies to better your nutrition while still enjoying your social life. There’s a lot of misinformation on nutrition, and we aim to provide you some clarity today, the topic that we want to talk about is boundaries. Um, so I’ll start off, um, boundaries is super important for consistency. And I’m going to tell you why. So here’s a, here’s a conversation that I had with, with a client the other day, this is a really productive conversation. So this person was struggling with their consistency with their nutrition, okay. And we came to the realization that it had nothing to do with not knowing what he should be doing more of, or knowing the things that he wanted to do. But realizing that he didn’t have any boundaries, especially when it came to work. He made a block off time in his scheduled to go to the gym. But he would accept a work meeting during that time, instead of going to the gym. Now, the reason why boundaries are so important is that just because that is not, the time that you have set aside for you is not set aside for someone else. If you don’t treat that the same way, then you’re going to burn yourself out and you’re going to be working, working, working and you’re not going to have anything to look forward to you and you’re not gonna have any life balance. So when you have your goals and your priorities, and you let someone else take those things away from you, that you’re now at like kind of in your you’re now a little bit of an uneven. I mean by that is like you’re no longer getting your like core means met. Okay. Sam, are you familiar with like coordinates you’ve probably heard like, I think Tony Robbins has like talked about this before, it’s like everyone has a certain amount of like core needs, like you need to feel appreciated. Like you need to feel like a sense of security, you need to have like, you need to feel comfort, there’s like certain needs that need to be met. And if those things aren’t met, there’s there’s going to be like, there’s going to be pulled, there’s gonna be like given taken out of the areas of your life. So in this instance, with this client that I had, that I was talking with they, again, they they prioritized a lot of other people over themselves. And what ended up happening was because they’re core needs of them being able to have, I guess, I guess what their core needs that weren’t being met is that they weren’t feeling appreciated, because work was saying, hey, you need to take this meeting, versus being able to say, “No, I’m not available”. Or just even if you don’t really have to even justify yourself, if you had, if you got another client during that time, it’d be very simple. It’d be no, I’m not available. I have another client. But because person didn’t have another client, it was sure I can do it. And when this comes into how people go about their food choices, if you have no if you’re just give, give, give, give, give. It makes sense why once in a while, if you’re like basically to the point that you’re just burnt out, and you feel like you’re not doing anything for yourself, the one thing that you’re going to do for yourself that you’re certain of is what you put in your mouth, and you know that eating highly processed food that tastes really good. And that savory, salty, sugary, whatever it is, you’re very certain that in that moment is going to be comforting. Right? So if you’re, you know, someone that does do that, like think about why you might and this is like me and Sam talked about this before with stress is that if you don’t deal with your stress, and you don’t deal with other areas of your life, it’s going to have a direct correlation to what you put into your body. Um, Sam, what are your thoughts on like boundaries and some of the stuff that I just talked about, like just that one particular client?
Sam Hally 4:48
Yeah, that was so philosophical to start the day, Jon, I love it. No, it’s like, I think you hit it perfectly. When you said like, if you had a client during that hour, you probably wouldn’t schedule something but because it’s like for you, you’re like, it’s okay that can that can just be written over, I’ll just, like change that. It’s like you’re you’re looking at your clients or you’re looking at your work meetings, it’s like those are written in pen, you can’t change it. But everything for you is written in pencil. And it’s like adjustable. But if you’re constantly changing the things that you do for you, like, eventually, like, you’re gonna run out of time, there’s only so many hours in the day. And I feel like that that’s like, the perfect way to think about it is like if you’re looking at a calendar or an agenda, right, and so you like have to pencil in your workout and your eating. Those are just in pencil, and you’re doing it based around like, every single work meeting that you have going out and meeting with clients, taking your kids to practices. Like whatever it is in your life that’s happening, then like the things that you’ve penciled in, just get erased and erased, and erase and erase and then like that, that hurts inside. Like if you think about like, every single time you plan something for you, then you just erase it away, then it’s like, you’re not giving the same kind of attention or love to yourself as you are to all the other people in your life. And it makes you an incredibly kind and generous person. But at a certain point, you have to like turn around and get that same kind of kindness and generosity to yourself as opposed to like always giving out instead of like ever taking it for yourself, like it doesn’t make you selfish to like, use a pen to write in your workout time, it doesn’t make you self centered to use a pen to write in, like your eating habits or your eating schedule. Like it actually makes you more caring. Because if you take care of yourself, and you’re able to take care of other people better too. It’s like the, the airplane when you’re on the airplane, and they say like put your mask on first, and then you can help others it’s like you have to think that same kind of way, in your day to day life. Like if you’re constantly putting other people’s masks on first, like, eventually you’re going to run out of oxygen, it’s not going to work out for you, it’s gonna be very, very hard to stay stress free and to like really, truly take care of yourself. So yeah, I think you’ve like hit it right on the head of like, we have to, at a certain point, say like, No, I am not using a pencil for my life, I’m using a pen for everything I need to do. And I’m putting myself first here. Now the challenge is I think that it’s not super easy to do that, like it’s not super easy to go from always using yourself kind of as the scapegoat of like, if anything needs to slide you’re letting go of what’s important to you. So it’s like how then do you make that transition from like, always letting your things slide or like not feeling like you’re as important, like, how do you how do you address that Jon, like how you make that transition from I’m not as important to like, No, I’m taking this time for me?
Jon Collette 7:57
It’s really hard. Um, I mean, there’s like certain levels, right? Like, if you have, if you’re like in a situation that you really aren’t happy in, then you have to change that situation, whether it’s literally getting a new job, or just really focusing on the things that you can control. And if you are able to have someone control over your calendar, where you can accept or not accept a meeting, if you if you don’t put those meetings and put those appointments in the books that are for you to be able to eat lunch, like you don’t even give yourself an opportunity to eat lunch. Give yourself an opportunity to go for a walk or go to the gym or do anything for yourself. It’s going to be that reward mindset that’s going to end up you know, kind of happening is that you’re rewarding yourself for working so hard when it’s counterproductive to what your goals are. Your goals are to go ahead and feel better and not feel tired all the time. But it’s like, like we do these things knowingly that it’s going to make us feel good, and it’s also going to not make us feel good. And I guess the way that we change those things is kind of figuring out what are the like, what are the what are those triggers? Like what are like what are the things that you again, can control and it’s just starting with one thing, and that’s just simply making a little bit of time for yourself. And it could be just making like adjusting your schedule all of that sometimes or going to bed at 12 o’clock at night will work until 9pm like that’s not that’s not that’s not healthy. To go ahead and work all like worth out Li, and then also stay up that late. And then we get up in the morning and we’re exhausted. And then we go ahead and repeat that same pattern. So we have to go ahead and we have to have a, we have to have a limit, Okay, I’m done at this time with my work. And that allows me to spend time my family be able to go ahead and, you know, be more present with your life. Because again, like, if it’s all kind of sounds like, it just sounds awful, right? If you are working for the weekend, and then the weekend comes in the weekends just recovering from work. That’s like, that’s a terrible way to live. Like, during the week should not be like you shouldn’t be like miserable, like every day, like oh my god, like, I can’t wait until the weekend like, you should be able to have some, you know, balance, even during a work day of being able to do things for yourself. It’s very common with parents too. When you have when you have a kid, that’s the number one priority, is making sure that all their things get get accomplished. Okay, but that’s why you have a partner because there needs to be some support for you know, what you need, and you need to support them with what they need. And that’s I mean, now we’re just talking about a how to have a good relationship.
Sam Hally 11:37
Life advice here.
Jon Collette 11:38
It is a little bit of life advice, but it has this is this all connects to, you know, the age old question of why can’t I? Like why can’t I stay consistent?
Sam Hally 11:51
Yeah, a perfect example of sometimes it’s not the food. Most times it’s not the food, it’s like, we have to look at all these other things that like, if you just look at the food, and you’re like, why can’t I get this under control? Why can I reach my goals? Why can’t I do X, Y, and Z? Like? The answer is probably not the food. Like if you’re already at the point where you’re asking yourself those questions, the answer is probably there’s something else going on in life. It’s like an all encompassing approach. And so like, this is one of them have like boundaries, we don’t have them anymore. Especially we’ve been working from home. For now a year and a half or so many people have like, you no longer like go into the office, you no longer like have a separate like work and home space. So like everything kind of bleeds into one another of Yeah, the day is done at five o’clock. But if you’re getting emails at 678 9pm, are you answering them? Are you just like shutting it off and saying, I’ll get to that tomorrow, right of like, where do you draw the line? And if you’re not drawing any line, that might be a big reason why you’re struggling so hard to eat the way you want to eat? Yeah, work leads into real life, real life bleeds into work like, are you penciling yourself in instead of writing things in a black sharpie in your calendar, like what is going on? That’s not just the food that contributes to how you react. And so when you’re stressed when you have no time, when work feels overwhelming, like you don’t necessarily reach for the foods that you know you want to eat, or like should be eating, you reach for the foods that are easy, and like have high satiety and our comfort foods for you. So it’s like, we got to address all those other things. So like, yeah, today, we are talking life advice. We’re gonna be life coaches. Now, to add that to the job title.
Jon Collette 13:45
I mean that. Like, there’s so much that goes into what you eat just based off of just your life in general. So I mean, like, those are like big things that need to be need to be addressed. are like personal personal matters. And if you’re listening to this, and you’re like, Yeah, I don’t have any time. There’s no way, then that’s a problem. Because you’re already like in defense mode, and you’re already like, you’ve already given up be very sad like, this is impossible for me to go ahead and do it. And if you’re thinking like that, then yeah, you’re right, you’re not going to be able to reach your goals, you’re not going to be able to be consistent because you’re you give given up on the fact that you can change the things that you’re doing. But I mean, it does like it just it does take like a little bit of a stern approach of No, I can’t take the like, like, No, these are things that I need to do like you need to like really like think about yourself is like that big work assignment that needs to get done. We started like prioritizing those things. To versus just thinking about all the needs of others, then that’s, that’s something that’s really going to go a long way into like a mindset shift of, like, I’m also important.
Sam Hally 15:14
Words of wisdom. Like truly like, if you did not listen to that, you just tune that out, please rewind, please listen to that, like you are important and your health is important. And I’m sure everyone around you would say the same thing. Like if the workday ends, and you don’t get finished with what you do at work, like, what’s the worst that happens? I don’t know, maybe you like are in charge of like brain surgery. And like, this is a life or death situation. But I feel like more often than not, it’s like, okay, we’ll just put a pause on it. I’ll pick it up tomorrow. But like, when it comes to you, if you keep putting pause on yourself, like, what’s going to happen, or like, if you keep putting paws on, like coming back to your family at the end of the night, like what’s going to happen. I feel like there’s this there’s this this image that’s been going around the internet, I’ve seen a lot of people post and even people from the gym. So they might know what I’m talking about. When I say this stuff. Like there’s like quote that’s going around. And it’s like, basically exactly what we’ve been saying. So like, at the end of the day, like your home is with your family, it’s not at your work. And like as much as you love your job. And as much as work is important. And as much as I know that definitely people who listen to this have like very important jobs. And they’re like high up in companies and like a lot of people are depending on them at the end of the day like you have to still make time for you and your family and the other things that are important for you like you are, whether you mean it or not showing what’s important to you by the amount of time that you dedicate to it. And so if the only thing you dedicate your time to his work, then you’re showing whether you mean it or not, that other things in your life aren’t as important. So it’s like, now’s a really good time to kind of like, take inventory of how are you breaking down your day to day? Like? Are you giving equal amounts of time to the things that you think are equally important? Or are you just giving all your time to this one big thing and not taking time to consider like your own self equally as important and like making that time for yourself? It’s not easy.
Jon Collette 17:23
I 100% agree.
Sam Hally 17:26
Yeah, it’s like a, I think it’s one of those things. It’s like, in a perfect world, we would all love to have all this time to ourselves. And we’d all love to like, make food the way we want to we want to eat the food the way we want to we want to read and travel and x, y, z. And people always say like, Okay, well, when work comes down, I’ll do this or when this happens, then I’ll have the time to do it. And the question is, like, what’s stopping you from doing it right now? Like, truly what is stopping you right now.
Jon Collette 18:01
I mean, one thing that I’ve started doing with my clients is that if, if, if there’s nothing that you’re doing for yourself, like, let’s just start by blocking off some time to just do something as simple as read a book for 10 minutes, whip out your sketchpad and draw, like whatever it is that you like to do that you haven’t done in a really long time, go ahead and do that, like for some people like to go ahead and golf, you know, whatever that hobby is of yours, like, go ahead and like, the time is not like, it’s a funny thing is like everyone has the same 24 hours. Like, it’s not true, like not everyone has the same 24 hours, because everyone has different shit going on in their life. But the things that are important for you, you can find some time for it, it’s just a matter of like you, like, it’s, if you’re like, if 90% of your day is worked, like you need to make it 75% to make the time to go ahead and do like the little things that you want to do for yourself. And by giving yourself that a little bit of time, it’s gonna make your work more productive. You’re not going to be at work being like, I hate my job, in real work being like, like, I like my job because I don’t feel like I’m you know, like, working just to work. And then like, I don’t know, you can make as much money as you want by if you’re miserable, then it doesn’t matter. So like, just think about that a little bit when it comes to some of the things that you’re doing that are impacting like your health and your fitness and all those things that make you feel good, that don’t give you anything of like tangible illness, right? What I mean by that is like you’re not getting a dot like there’s no dollar sign on your health, right. It’s something that you have to care enough about to go ahead and And make that something that is worth a million dollars or whatever it is for you.
Sam Hally 20:08
It’s a good point. And like you can start small, like, I think, john, you’re like the best example of like, when we’re on our staff meetings, like you’ll take your phone and you’ll like, zoom in via your phone and go on a walk while it’s happening. Because like getting out and like being in the sunshine and moving around is like a way for you to enjoy your time at work. Like that’s a good thing that works well for you. It’s like, things don’t have to be drastically, you don’t have to make major changes right off the bat, I feel like if nothing else, like from all of these conversations we’ve done, like anyone who’s listening to you kind of get that, like we’re not about just like, you know, going cold turkey or like jumping into the deep end. Like we always talk about making small changes. So like literally just that, like, zoom in on something via your phone and like get out for a walk. If that’s the thing, like if you’ve been in the same space for so long, like change your environment, like switch it up, relocate, spend time in it’s reading a book, spend 10 minutes drawing, or coloring or painting or doing some kind of artistic expression. It’s like, we’re not suggesting you you’d quit your job right now. That’s probably more stress than it’s worth. But do the little things in your day that can make it ever so slightly more enjoyable, like that can help relieve stress that can like really make it feel like you’re giving some attention to yourself, as opposed to giving all your attention to work. And like setting that time aside, even if it’s just 10 or 15 minutes and saying like, this is my time. And I’m not going to do anything else during it.
Jon Collette 21:41
Sam Hally 21:43
Jon, did you have any other thoughts on this?
Jon Collette 21:47
No, I mean, like, you just set it like, we’re not like trying to change too much at once isn’t the best approach. But just like just starting is going to be more beneficial than just waiting for, like, stop waiting for that work project to be to be done or stop waiting for like Bing should calm down at this point, like, it’s not going to happen. Like, things aren’t going to calm down with your work, you’re just going to get another assignment. And it’s just going to continue. So you have to go ahead and you have to wait. That’s why it’s so important to make those boundaries where it’s like, I log on at this time. I’m available to this time. If you offer me a work meeting when I’m when I when I’m going to be going to the gym, I’m not available all the time. Like it just like it can’t be that simple. But if you’ve for a long period of time had this like I’m available 24 seven type of like calendar where you take a work call at 8pm at night. Sorry, but if someone wants to take like Call me at eight o’clock at night My phone’s on Do Not Disturb like I don’t even hear like it’s it’s not even going off.
Sam Hally 22:55
I can vouch for that. Jon has responded to texts at three in the morning. Sorry, I was sleeping.
Jon Collette 23:02
Sorry, I wasn’t available. I was already done. I was in bed. I think that’s when-Oh, by the way, this is a this is the week where Sam is at home, and she is clearly feeling better. Feeling better from her COVID. But she was mentioning when she sent us all a message saying that, uh, that she tested positive. And I was like, sorry, I didn’t get this message until the next morning.
Sam Hally 23:29
Yeah. I mean, I knew I sent that text and I was like, John’s already sleeping. Like, he’s not going to answer. Because the thing is also to like, hopefully, your co workers try to respect those boundaries. I know after three o’clock, like you have a hard stop, like we are not getting Jon on the phone. So it’s like, we’re not gonna, we’re not gonna overlap because like, I know that that’s your boundary. Like, that’s a hard no for you if like, I will never schedule an appointment with you that goes longer than that. Because like, you have a hard stop time. And you’ve set those boundaries. And it’s been working I think, so far for you. Like you have your time that you are at work and if it doesn’t work for you, you are a okay saying no, I’m not available. That’s great.
Jon Collette 24:19
Now that I have a baby. It’s, really that simple. She’s not gonna watch yourself like I can’t train you. Well, ya know, so hopefully you guys kind of got the message that what you’re doing with your schedule, whether with work and life, you need to have those boundaries because it’s going to spill over into other areas of your life, whether it’s for a positive or negative. So if you set those boundaries that might allow you to be more consistent in the gym that might allow you to have some time to be able to go to the grocery You’re able to make food, you know, be able to have less to worry about because some of the things that you want to do for yourself are done. And now there’s like a little bit less reactive type of mindset, when it comes to the things that we’re doing is constantly reacting and more. You know, this is that’s this is all part of how you’re going to be able to form a routine. And change a behavior is by allowing yourself to have time to change the behavior, if we don’t make the time and change your behavior than can change behavior. Because, again, like all this stuff connects with everything that we’ve been talking about the past few weeks, you know, it really comes down to like, yeah, you have to allow yourself time to be able to do them. Do the things you want to do. Um, yeah, Sam, any, any last words of advice before we close out?
Sam Hally 26:00
No, I think that was beautifully said. I hope that everyone listening get some some valuable insight from this. I know by comparison, Jon and I are still young and still gaining life experience. But we see it a lot. And we’re not just speaking from personal experience, but definitely experiences we’ve had clients share or my patients in the past. I know I see this all too often. So definitely take some of this advice. And try to apply it to your life of like whatever else is going on in your life. At the very least, let’s like schedule your life in permanent marker. You are super important. So make time for yourself. If you have questions or concerns about this, or anything else we have talked about, please do reach out. We’re more than happy to answer your questions. And we love hearing from you. Please let us know if you’ve made it this far in the podcast. We’re trying to do an assessment of if people are listening and if we’re making it all 20 minutes so like shoot us a little message be like yes, I made it here if you’ve gotten this far, and definitely give us some future ideas for for podcasts. We want to talk about the things that are important to you. So we came up with this idea based off of a conversation Jon had with a client so the more we can talk about the things that apply to your life, the better so please do let us know. In the meantime, we hope you all have a wonderful day and we will see you soon.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai